I know this may sound crazy, but I am starting to believe there is a universal conspiracy that is determined to make sure I do not have access to a lipstick that looks good on me.
I am not one of those women who looks good in just any shade of lipstick. The purpose of makeup is to look “better” when you use it, right?
Most lipsticks don’t enhance my face. If the color is pretty, it actually has the opposite effect. Wow…pretty color lipstick, that would look great on someone else!
For some odd reason, most lipsticks are not flattering on me. In my entire five decades on the planet, I have only found three….that’s right, three lipsticks that make me look better than wearing no lipstick at all.
I can name them:
1) Circa 1980: Plantation Punch: Diane Von Furstenberg
2) 2008: Merle Norman dual lip pencil in Milk Chocolate
3) 2015: Estee Lauder Barely Nude
I get so excited when I find a shade that looks good on me since it happens so rarely.
Here’s where the conspiracy theory comes in:
These three shades have something in common. Shortly after I joyously have discovered that I love the color on me, the manufacturer discontinues the shade!!!
Do they realize how devastating this is to me?
Now, I am not a wimp! I have survived cancer…TWICE…so I have learned not to sweat the small stuff. But this isn’t small! This is huge!!! The universe is messing with my look!
I grieved the loss of Plantation Punch from 1985 until 2008 when I found Merle Norman Milk Chocolate lip pencil. I was so excited! However, when I was getting low and set out to buy a replacement, I learned that it, too, had been discontinued.
I continued to grieve this loss until I joyfully discovered Estee Lauder Barely Nude.
I could tell I “nailed it” because I would get so many compliments and heartfelt confessions from people who love me, ”Julie, don’t ever change that color lipstick…I didn’t know how to tell you this, but this is the first color I really like on you.”
Well, guess what?
I went to replenish my color at the Estee Lauder make-up counter and hear the following devastating words: “Oh, we no longer carry that color, it’s been discontinued. Can I help you with another color?”
Let me digress a moment and embellish on how uncomfortable this situation is for me.
I hate going to those fancy make up counters to buy make up. I am a drug store make up girl. I do not feel comfortable buying makeup from a perfectly flawless beauty, dressed in a white lab coat, blessed with freakishly genetically perfect pore-less skin.
So I have to force myself past my comfort zone to even approach the Estee Lauder counter.
When I hear the news, “Oh, that color has been discontinued, would you like to try something else?” I want to scream, ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…You don’t understand!!!!
You have no idea how freakishly lucky you are that you can just go on with life and try another shade of lipstick. Not all women are so blessed! Some of us search a lifetime to find the perfect color! I can’t just “pick another shade!”
So, I carry remnants of my two favorite shades around in my cosmetic bag (I did eventually give up on the shade from 1980).
Every time I see a new lipstick shade that I think resembles my beloved discarded colors, I do the test on my hand and it never quite matches my original true love.
So, I just want to pose a question to lipstick manufacturers: Do you realize how you are messing with my look? Do you have any idea how hard it is for some women to find that right shade of lipstick? Are you all men? Do you not understand the impact of your decisions? Can I speak with your marketing department?
Can someone please help me?